A letter from my heart to you; 

When you talk all i hear are lies. A friend once told me if you can’t decide if should give it another chance or just let it go, write down what are the good things and the bad things about him. At first all that i could think about are good things but as I write i realized the bad parts of our so called relationship. 

You’re the kind of person that i can forgive in an instant. I forgive anything you do with your single “i love you’s”. When i see you my heart pumps too much.. That i can hear my heartbeats, nearly making me deaf. I love you too much that I dont mind not seeing you.. I dont mind not recieving any texts even if i wait all night.. Just waiting for your goodnight. I’d wait weeks for your text.. You know why? It’s because of the feeling i get when i finally recieve ur text. I also remembered the first time you called me “love” i was so happy i could die.

Haven’t you realized that i don’t need much. I never asked for anything. Nor demanded anything. I didn’t complain that you didn’t treat me as you’re girlfriend. We don’t see each other and that i see that it’s God’s gift that i get to see you once in ahwhile. It was all because i loved you. i truly loved you! And your plain existence was my happiness.. The fact that you are part of my life and i get to call you “my love” and i hear it too from you.. Its enough for me to be happy. I dont need gifts.. Expensive dates.. All i want is to be your ONLY ONE and to be appreciated..

I didn’t break up with you.. Even if there are people who text me or messages me saying..”maki break ka na dyan.. Nakikipag sex siya sakin” or “ako mahal niya!” i dont mind it at all! I ignore them because i believe in you.. Even if there was a girl messaging you “hi hon.. Just dropping by to say I LOVE YOU” it hurts so much when i saw this. I wanted to cry and cut my wrist. sTUPID. If you’re going to cheat dont get caught. Its just a proof that you didn’t love me, coz you didn’t care if i’d catch you and get hurt. If you loved me you wouldn’t want me to get hurt.

I am traumatized. I don’t believe in forever anymore. I already expect to get cheated on in the future. Ginising mo ako sakatotohanan. But i am perfectly happy in my fairytale. 

My heart is still broken.. In time it’ll be cured.. You must be proud that your were able to hurt someone like me.. Hayy my sweet sweet love.. It’s not funny anymore.. Stop hurting me.. This isn’t a joke anymore.. Because i am tired. Tired of waiting for you…

Here I am, happy of my grade. This whole weekend I was really nervous what would come out. I wished that I don’t have any 0.0. just to keep my priority and not let my mom pay for me to get that same subject. I wished and tried my best to pass so that I could graduate the earliest possible. I DID MY BEST so that they could be proud to have a daughter who will graduate from LA SALLE WITH NO FAILURES! Why are they like this??? Why can’t they be happy?? IT’s a 1.0. not a 0.0 can’t they be grateful for just one bit. I GIVE THEM a 4.0 and become a DEAN’s LISTER, sasabihin nila putang inang CHAMBA LANG?? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!! WHAT?!?! I’m NOT FREAKING PERFECT. They won’t be proud of me when I get an achievement, and hassle me when I get a grade which is passing and not failing. Parents of my friends don’t even get mad at them when they fail, they don’t judge them. I DON’T FAIL and THEY JUDGE ME?!!?11 WHAT THE FUCK is this LIFE?!?! WHAT?!?!?!? I join an organization that I’m really proud to be in, then they say istorbo lang yan?!? That I shouldn’t be there, and telling me to leave?! Di ko tinitiis ang awkward feeling and the feeling that I don’t belong there para lang umalis agad? WHAT DID I DO TO GET  PARENTS THAT DON’T BELIEVE IN ME. I GO to a freaking place to expand my environment, to spread horizon, to do things and experience things, in a good way. And they AUTOMATICALLY THINK I HAVEE A BOYFRIEND AND DO NASTY STUFF and not believe me its school stuff?!?! I MAAY BE LIKE THAT when I was a kid. PEOPLE CHANGE YOU KNOW?!?! I DO MY BEST in my COLLEGE LIFE so that they’ll be proud of me. BUT THEY’RE NOT. I’m TIRED. I’m SO TIRED OF THIS. It’s really lonely. This feeling is lonely. Why can’t they just be proud of me and support me. WHY?!?!? Shet talaga.

ach required blog in COMP1BU. hahahha Gotta Write. :)))

I don’t even know why ganyan ka.

wag na wag mo akong lalaitin, kasi mas madami akong malalait sayo.

ang kapal naman ng pagmumukha mo. kung di ka lang nagsisinungaling and nagiimbento ng mga storya baka pinabayaan pa kita. Puhleeassseeeee you are so feeling.

Texting men pretending to be a girl. wtf?

stop making up stories about people.

and stop putting someone else’s picture who is way hotter than, pathetic.

xtiansanch:

chrisdrewrappstwice:

jacklikesthrust:

nothingrhymeswithcircus:

-singloudernow:

Omg not mine tho

Omg

I may not be pretty.. but I do try to make sure he sees only me.. <3